Q.What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
A. Mr. President.
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Q. What do you call a bud smoker with two spliffs?
A. Double Jointed.
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Q. What do you call someone who smokes up every day at 4:21?
A. chronically late.
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The Pot Paradox:
An empty bowl needs to be filled, a full bowl needs to be emptied!!!
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Q. What do you call a stoner in a room full of nude supermodels?
A. Passed out & Dreaming.
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Q. How do you hide money from a hippie?
A. Put it under the soap!
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Q. What do you call a group of blondes standing around in a circle?
A. A Dope Ring
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Q. How do fish get stoned?
A. SeaWeed.
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Q. What's smokey and sounds like a bell ?
A. BONG!
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Q. What do you call two pairs of stoners having sex?
A. Baked lays.
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Q. What do you call it when a stoner spills his stash on the floor?
A. Drug abuse.
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Q. What do call a pothead that smokes a joint from the wrong end?
A. Stoned.
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Q. What do you call 20 female hippies in a sauna?
A. Gorillas in the mist.
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A stoner and drunk were walking down a hill. The drunk said, "I think I'm gonna pretend I'm a bottle and just roll down the hill so he did it the stoner thought for a minute then rolled down the hill when he got to the bottom he seen the drunk was in pieces on the ground so he walked over to him the drunk looks up and says how did you make it without getting hurt the stoner said I pretended I was a joint!
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A stoner called the fire department and said "Come quick my house is on fire!" The fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"
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This is a story to tell someone when they're high.- Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about. Thursday, which is Good Friday, we're having a Father's Day party for mother's only. Admission is free, pay at the door, pull out a chair and sit on the floor. Late one night in the middle of the day, two dead soldiers got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, pulled out their swords and shot one another. A deaf policeman heard the noise, got up and shot the twice dead boys. If you don't believe me, ask the blind man who saw it all, through a knothole in a wooden brick wall.
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